OK, this doesn’t have to do with my writing, it’s just more of a rant but since I’m the one writing it I guess it qualifies.
So, we’ve known about it since last July when the teaser began to run on the day “Transformers” was released. And of course, we all wanted to know just what the hell was this thing that was using the head of the Statue of Liberty as a golf ball. Well, finally, after half a year “Cloverfield” is here. It could have easily been called “Monkey Wrench” and the title would have made as much sense (as a matter of fact, this is the first time I find the title in Spanish –”Monster”– much more appropriate).
By the way, if you allow me a small disclaimer, this post is filled with spoilers so if you haven’t seen the movie yet I suggest you stop reading right now.
I mean it. Go somewhere else.
OK, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
In the tradition of “The Blair Witch Project”, “Cloverfield” consists basically of a home video that runs for about 80 minutes (but which covers events that take place in the span of more or less seven hours). I must say I went to see this movie with the slight fear that I would be cheated, that there wouldn’t be a monster at all. This is not the case. There really is a monster here and this is the big difference between “Cloverfield” and “Blair Witch”, one tries to deliver what it offered while the other one doesn’t really say much.
“Cloverfield” tells the story (yeah, right) of a group of friends who throw a surprise party for one of them who is going away to work in Japan. After about 15 or 20 minutes of boring footage (it’s a home movie after all, and we actually agree with protagonist Rob when he sarcastically says “You mean I can watch it every night?”) that somehow tries to give a little background about these people, we get what we came to see: blackouts, rumble, explosions and our long-awaited Statue-head-rolling-down-the-street scene. As the movie unfolds we get to see more and more 5-second shots of this creature and its offspring, small spider-like creatures that make your body explode if they bite you (hey at least you don’t become a zombie, you just get to bleed a lot). The “plot” then follows Rob as he boldly defies fate and risks certain death after learning that the girl he loves is trapped in her apartment. Between Rob and his girl are the creature, its offspring, and the heavily-armed US military.
Now, let’s be honest here. Do we care about Rob and his buddies? Not really. Me, I wanted to get in the movie, and pound the guy holding the camera (I mean, can’t you stop filming for 5 minutes while your best friend tells his mother that his brother just died?). What we want is more shots of the monster (as a matter of fact we don’t get to see it for more than ten seconds, it’s longest shot is against the sky so most of what we see is a silhouette). Everything else is just footage we’d fast forward if we had the control, although there are some quite suspenseful moments, like the creatures in the tunnel and the whole helicopter sequence.
I did not hate “Cloverfield”. I actually enjoyed it, mainly because it did deliver the monster I was waiting for, although in very short segments. Like I said at the beginning, the title doesn’t make any sense (at least that I know of), but then nothing else does. We never get to know where this thing came from, what it wants, or what’s its fate. We see everything through this little camera (which is pretty far-fetched) and in the end we know just as much as these guys do. Yes, when the camera runs out of tape we get this little “epilogue” with a shot of happier days–which I must say I really liked–and then the movie is over and everyone at the theater remains in their seats saying “what, that’s it?”. But like I said, I’d take “Cloverfield” over “Blair Witch” any day of the week.
And that’s it for the rant.
